From Gaze to Bone Structure: Identifying the Selfish and Coldhearted

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Hi everyone, today I want to talk about something pretty practical: the facial cues often seen in people who are selfish and cold, so you can get an early “heads-up” in social situations and be mentally prepared—better than paying a big price after the fact.

We’ve talked before about the facial markers linked to NPD. In fact, traits of selfishness and coldness share quite a few overlapping signals in face reading. Let’s break them down.

The eyes: the heart can’t hide

As always, I start with the eyes. Why? Because “the eyes are the window to the soul” isn’t just a saying. No matter how well someone tries to mask their inner world, it tends to leak through their gaze.

First off, people who are selfish or emotionally cold usually carry a “chill” in their eyes. Not a calm, Zen-like softness, but something “dark and indifferent.” Some gazes also feel gloomy; at the extreme, you’ll catch a hard or cutting edge—even when the face is smiling. (Beware the smile that doesn’t reach the eyes.)

For example, someone may look warm and gentle, yet their gaze gives you a strange sense of mismatch. That doesn’t mean you should slap a negative label on them right away, but it does mean there’s likely another, less gentle side to their personality.

So if you meet a very attractive man or woman whose eyes feel shadowy, sharp, or carry a sly/unnerving vibe, don’t let their good looks trick you into thinking, “They’re a hottie, they can’t mean any harm.”

Bottom line: the eyes are the hardest to fake. In an era when cosmetic procedures get more and more advanced, that core gaze isn’t something you can “edit.”

Also, a few small tells can help:

If someone suddenly starts blinking a lot while talking, chances are they’re covering up guilt or insecurity. If they look down before speaking, odds are they’re calculating—what follows may be padded or self-serving. If their gaze is constantly darting, they’re either hiding a lot or not really listening to you—just sizing things up.

In short: no matter how good-looking someone is, if their eyes read as gloomy/hard/cunning/cold, keep your guard up. Don’t hand over your privacy or interests too easily.

Brows and eyes: what spills out of personality

After the gaze, look at eye shape. Some shapes naturally project a “don’t mess with me” aura—and when paired with certain eyebrows, the odds of selfish, unfeeling behavior go up.

First, people with small pupils and lots of visible sclera (eye white). Even without face-reading knowledge, this often looks a bit “fierce.” Two common types here are “sheep eyes” and “crab eyes.”

Sheep eyes have a darkened, slightly yellowish rim around the iris, as if dusted over; crab eyes are more extreme—excess white plus a tight, chilly intensity, harsher than sheep eyes.

Folks with these eye types tend to be very calculating. They can be efficient, yes—but they’ll also go hard for their interests. If you get in their way, don’t expect mercy.

Then there are “triangular eyes,” where the eye as a whole looks triangular and the outer corners tilt upward. These people can be extreme in temperament—small things may set them off. In men especially, this can read as self-centered: they put themselves first.

PS: Triangular eyes plus bloodshot whites can signal a hot-tempered, forceful person. Be cautious and keep your wits about you.

Brows matter too. When the brow ridge is overly prominent—like a little “mountain” under the forehead—the person often craves power and control. They like to call the shots, and if things don’t go their way, they can hold a grudge.

Also, messy brows—especially when the inner brow heads form a little “arrow”—often point to someone very self-oriented, not great at taking advice.

Thick, dense brows plus a razor-sharp gaze (or one that simply feels “hard”) suggest someone with strong convictions and ambition. In short, they “want a lot,” and if they see a path forward, they won’t settle.

We don’t need to overstate the importance of the eyes. If someone’s gaze is strikingly incisive, it’s a stretch to say they’re a meek little lamb with no personal drive. Come on.

If the above traits appear along with prominent facial bone structure (especially pronounced cheekbones and jaw), it can amplify extremes and intensity in their temperament. It also deepens their fixation on what they want—their ambition starts to feel more like “wolfish hunger.”

The good news: brows are relatively easy to tweak. Groom them; clean up the area where the inner brows join (the space between the brows). Simple. Of course, the root work is inner work—cultivate a positive, open, generous mindset. Over time, your overall expression softens.

Nose and mouth: outer signals of temperament

Now for the nose and mouth. To read character, it helps to look at the nose together with the ears. One combo tied to selfishness/coldness is what I’ve mentioned before as “strong nose, weak ears.”

That means a relatively large or high, fleshy nose paired with very small ears—or low-set ears, small lobes, or generally poor ear shape. In short, the nose and ears feel mismatched.

People like this (especially men) often have a powerful sense of self, low empathy, and tend to dodge responsibility. That lack of accountability and empathy easily shows up as selfishness or emotional coldness.

As a side note, some negative traits in “strong nose, weak ears” men resemble the so-called “Yin-Bi” male type in BaZi (Four Pillars), which can carry some clashing tendencies in love.

When the ears are particularly poor in form or have defects—and other facial areas also look unfavorable—their partners are more likely to get hurt in relationships. It also raises the odds of macho posturing, playboy behavior, or cold selfishness.

Another tell: a small mouth with thin lips plus a crooked philtrum. These people have a low tolerance for anything that infringes on their interests. Once they feel the urge to retaliate, they may toss their moral filter aside. If the teeth are sparse with obvious gaps, that tendency is stronger—when profits are at stake, “feelings” don’t count.

There’s also the “solitary peak” look:

The cheekbones, forehead, and chin are all narrowed or hollowed, while the nose is big and prominent—so the nose dominates the face. In other words, it’s the kind of face where “at first glance, it’s all nose.” (The first time I saw this phrase, I had to hand it to whoever coined it—so vivid and so funny.)

…Back to the point _(:з」∠)_. People with a “solitary peak” look are highly self-focused and often struggle in relationships. Bonds with family can be thinner. Their self-interest can hurt others—a classic selfish-cold pattern.

That said, they often stay in one field for a long time and tend to be skilled professionals. In men, a partner may bring practical support.

As for the mouth, several shapes correlate with difficult personalities and selfishness:

“Blowing fire” mouth: lips jut forward and don’t quite close even at rest, as if blowing air. These folks are combative and relentless in argument; to win or protect their interests, they won’t worry much about your feelings.

A crooked philtrum or an asymmetrical mouth: what they say and what they do don’t match. There’s a private agenda, and to reach their goals they may act selfishly and withhold honesty.

Thin lips with a small mouth: tends toward coolness, a narrow heart, and score-keeping. They start from self-interest and rarely consider others, which reads as selfish and unfeeling.

Also, a thick lower lip that stays slightly open—especially paired with a tipsy, heavy-lidded gaze or very full lower eyelid pads—can point to someone highly driven by desire. Then check the ears and teeth:

Earlobes that flare outward or “rebel” (ears that fold outward): pleasure-seeking with looser limits. To satisfy cravings, they may become ruthless.

Jagged, irregular, crowded teeth—so-called “ghost teeth”: deep and scheming. Don’t take their words at face value; be alert to ulterior motives or manipulative PUA-style tactics.

Bone and flesh: read them together

Finally, look at the interplay of bone and flesh for a holistic read.

Faces with pronounced sinew and bone—visible veins, large cheekbones and jawbones without much flesh covering, an overall “bony, rugged” look—often signal a volatile, domineering, direct style, with strong aggression.

This is especially true when there’s very little facial fat and the cheeks are sunken, with wide, flared cheekbones and a big jaw—bone structure pushed to the extreme.

When bone and flesh look clearly “out of balance,” the person often has some extreme tendencies in personality or psychology. However harmless they seem on the surface, there’s a hard edge inside.

When dealing with people like this, keep your tone soft. Don’t go head-to-head or blow things up. If interests clash, they’ll likely view everything from their own angle—empathy is limited, selfishness shows, and they may go hyper-macho. Guard against impulsive aggression.

(If someone has big cheekbones and jaw with little flesh, sunken cheeks, and eyes that flash with a hostile glare, be very tactful. Don’t provoke them—and if possible, keep your distance.)

- End -

That’s it for common facial markers linked to selfish, unfeeling tendencies. One last reminder: never judge by one or two features alone. In face reading, “isolated readings” are a major no-no.

Text and images: Leimen Yi