Face Reading: How to Choose a Good Partner

People define a “good spouse” in different ways. Some go by personal preference, others by character and qualities, and still others by looks or family background.

These varying standards reflect personal choice. In astrology, however, a “good spouse” generally falls into two types: for men, it means being ambitious and career-minded, kind, upright, and responsible to the family; for women, it means being healthy, capable in managing the household, and gentle and generous. In astrological terms, this is described as attracting a devoted husband or a virtuous wife.

From the perspective of physiognomy, these two points suggest some basic conditions for finding a good spouse.

First, for men, different personalities and traits shape their future marriage prospects. Whatever the astrological view, a man should be upright, thoughtful, and capable, with a strong sense of duty and accountability; he should not be weak or downtrodden. This shows up mainly in spirit and will. Men who are weak and beaten down often attract harsh or unkind wives, while upright, responsible men are more likely to find virtuous partners and receive their support. Note that many people consider themselves upright; while everyone has some integrity, they often overlook their own desires and flaws—including how those affect their choice of partner. Men who are captivated by a woman’s looks and charm tend to be led more by emotion than reason, which reveals a lack of integrity. In reality, many good, virtuous women are around us, yet those who fail to find a good wife often ignore them and pursue unsuitable partners. That reflects reliance on desire rather than destiny, a lack of clarity and integrity, and being overwhelmed by negative influences. Therefore, to find a good spouse, a man must restrain his desires and not be swept away by momentary temptation. Clarity and integrity make this possible. Those ruled by desire will continually encounter—and be drawn to—people with even stronger desires.

Second, for women, modern expectations about material security are understandable. But the women who truly attract good husbands are neither naive nor overly calculating; they are virtuous. Women embody the earth’s yin qualities—nurturing, tolerant, and gentle. If a woman becomes overly assertive, seeking power and control, even a good husband may turn weak and ineffective. Most women who cannot attract a good husband either lack natural gentleness and kindness or possess excessive ambition and desire—being self-centered and willful, focused only on their own feelings and thoughts without considering others. This runs counter to a woman’s nurturing nature, which should embrace others rather than demand to be embraced. If a woman insists on standing on exactly the same footing as her husband, the family lacks a firm foundation and becomes an empty dream. Many women who feel chronically dissatisfied face precisely this issue. If you observe, you’ll find that many single women approaching middle age have more difficulty finding suitable partners because they have lived independently for too long, made every decision themselves, and struggle to accommodate others. At the same time, expectations often grow higher and more practical with age. Ask yourself: would a successful man with solid material footing willingly serve a woman who behaves like a queen? If you were such a man, you wouldn’t want that either. Thus, female virtue is essential. While traditional ideas of women’s virtue may have constrained women’s freedom of thought, about eighty percent of it benefits marriage.

Third, mismatched marriages rarely last. A few years ago, a woman came to discuss marriage. She had a round face and a sturdy build, suggesting she could have an excellent husband, yet her features lacked definition and she had faced many difficulties in youth. After seeing her husband, I predicted their marriage would not last. Why? He had uneven eyebrows, narrow, slanted eyes, a shifty look, a prominent nose, and thin, weak lips. If he had ability and favorable circumstances, her influence might have helped him improve, but he showed no ambition or sense of responsibility—only a penchant for deception and trickery. No matter how good the environment, he was unlikely to do well. Such a man cannot be uplifted, and she would not want to waste her life with him. At first she couldn’t accept this, but within two years, reality proved it true. In fact, compatibility has no absolute standard; it is the alignment of virtues that allows a relationship to endure. A sharp-tongued woman will only last with a despicable man; paired with an upright, generous man, the result is separation or constant conflict.

In short, a man’s taste in women and a woman’s expectations of a partner reveal the kind of spouse they are likely to end up with. This reflects human nature, which is shaped by desire to varying degrees, leading to different outcomes—all of which falls within the scope of astrology. Most importantly, the ability to find a good spouse is neither fixed by fate nor dictated by others; the choices made before and after marriage are ultimately one’s own.