Choosing the Right People: Key to Success in Friendship, Business, and Leadership!
Many people might not be very familiar with physiognomy, particularly the art of reading people. Simply put, the art of reading people involves assessing a person's character and integrity through their words and actions. This differs slightly from physiognomy, which focuses more on predicting a person's fortune or misfortune through their physical traits, like facial features, palmistry, and bone structure. The art of reading people emphasizes evaluating a person's character and integrity.
Jiangnan Yilin didn't initially set out to study the art of reading people; his childhood environment naturally honed his ability to interpret people's expressions and emotions. A typical example is when he was in elementary school, a time when television wasn't widely accessible, and he often visited other people’s homes to watch TV. In someone else's house, he couldn't act as freely as he did at home. Sometimes, when the hosts were tired or unhappy, they wouldn’t express it openly, but young Jiangnan Yilin quickly picked up on the adults' unspoken cues. This might be seen as a kind of innate talent.
During his university years, he specifically read books on similar topics, including modern works as well as ancient texts like Zeng Guofan's "Ice Mirror."
In recent years, Jiangnan Yilin has gradually developed his own system of reading people by combining traditional physiognomy with modern theoretical frameworks. If he spends even half an hour with someone—whether playing cards, having a drink, or visiting their room—he can generally discern that person’s character, preferences, and integrity.
While walking down the street, he enjoys observing the crowds, examining people's faces, expressions, and walking styles. The same goes for watching television, especially documentary programs like "Legal Online," where he finds real-life individuals, such as criminals, fascinating. He observes their behavior to verify their character, noting that those with malicious intent often have corresponding appearances, while those with good fortune exhibit a different demeanor. These subtle details, which many people overlook, captivate Jiangnan Yilin and allow him to glean a wealth of information.
Friends and online acquaintances often send him photos, and he can generally assess a person’s character and integrity from these images. Though each photo is different, certain aspects remain consistent; for instance, a person’s eyes do not lie and reveal their true nature.
Jiangnan Yilin stresses that he is not trying to be mysterious or show off; he simply wants to convey an important principle: there is knowledge to be gained everywhere! Much wisdom comes from life experiences, as knowledge found in books is often static.
The Six Relations Method of Observing People
Jiangnan Yilin will first discuss a common and ancient method of observing people: the "Six Relations Method."
In the context of Bazi fortune-telling, there is also the concept of the six relations, which refer to one’s father, mother, siblings, spouse, and children. By examining how a person treats their parents, siblings, spouse, children, and friends, one can assess their character, focusing on how they interact with these six relations and whether their words and actions align.
However, this method has its limitations. For example, a local thug or a treacherous minister might also be a devoted son or a kind father. Someone praised as a good colleague at work could be a tyrant at home.
Jiangnan Yilin experienced confusion on this issue. Later, while studying Western narrative theory, he gained insight from character development methods used in classic literature. He integrated this understanding into the art of observing people. This approach is helpful whether you are reading novels, watching television, socializing, or creating characters in your own writing. Jiangnan Yilin shares this insight in hopes of inspiring others. If there are similarities to other works, it is purely coincidental. He believes that while some might be aware of this writing theory, very few consciously apply it to the art of reading people; at least, he hasn’t seen anyone discuss it this way in modern times.
Three-Dimensional Method of Observing People
To make it easier to refer to this principle, let’s call it the "Three-Dimensional Method of Observing People." What are the three dimensions? They represent three levels.
The first dimension: the social level. Observe how this person interacts with their superiors, colleagues, partners, or competitors. Pay attention to what they say and do, and whether their words and actions are consistent.
The second dimension: the family level, which corresponds to the Six Relations Method. Focus on how they treat their parents, siblings, spouse, children, and friends, and whether their words and actions align.
The third dimension: the personal level. This involves observing what a person enjoys doing when alone. Regardless of who they are, when they face themselves in solitude, they often reveal their true selves without pretense. Of course, those who lie even in their private diaries or maintain a facade when alone are exceptions.
Naturally, the points mentioned above are merely outlines or guidelines. Due to space constraints, specifics are not elaborated upon here. An essential aspect of observing people is to remain objective and not be swayed by superficial appearances or personal emotions.
In fact, many of us often feel we can summarize a friend's character in a sentence or a few words, but when it comes to those we know best, like parents or spouses, we often struggle to see clearly and find it difficult to summarize them succinctly. This may be because we know them too well, and the wealth of details can obscure our perception.
If you are a writer, portraying a character from these three aspects will likely lead to a more well-rounded and three-dimensional character. The same applies when watching television or movies; you can use these three dimensions as a guideline to evaluate a character. In television, we even hear the protagonist’s inner thoughts. In real life, understanding someone's personal level can be relatively challenging. However, people often inadvertently reveal this information through their words and actions, or if you get the chance to visit their dormitory or bedroom, everything is laid bare.
Of course, mastering the art of reading people, like studying physiognomy or Bazi fortune-telling, requires a certain talent, particularly related to the learner's personality. Many aspects can only be grasped intuitively and cannot be easily articulated. Some people may have a natural talent for reading others, while others may spend years with someone without being able to clearly define their character. This could be due to a lack of observational skills or an inability to summarize.
Everyone might try the methods Jiangnan Yilin has suggested for making friends, dating, or working in positions of authority—it’s essential to choose the right people!
Additionally, Jiangnan Yilin hopes this brief article will draw attention to the often-overlooked details that can reveal significant information. For those navigating business or political arenas, the art of reading people becomes particularly crucial.
Those interested are welcome to engage in discussions with Jiangnan Yilin. If anyone has good methods to share, please do not hesitate to offer your insights.