How Dreams Can Guide Your Friendships

Some people are constantly clinking glasses in big social circles, yet when trouble hits, no one shows up. Others lend a hand casually and gain a friend for life. We all need friends, but true friendship often feels rare. Is it that people are hard to connect with, or that we don’t know how to choose well?

Sometimes we want to know whether someone is worth befriending, and getting that answer always costs something. What’s the smallest cost with the biggest insight? Try talking about dreams. Dreams are easy to chat about, and most people don’t embellish them—so you get the real thing. Chen Peng, who has studied dream interpretation since 1996, summarizes the following dream traits that point to someone worth keeping as a lifelong friend.

1. Someone who often dreams of being alone

This suggests an inner sense of solitude. They may describe beautiful scenery or certain actions, but the key is that they’re alone in the dream, interacting only with nonhuman elements. Because they value calm, drama-free connections, the friends they choose are the ones they’ll invest in wholeheartedly. They’re straightforward rather than complicated, and they prefer one close companion to share their thoughts and simple joys. Naturally, they dislike people who lack principles or integrity.

2. Someone who doesn’t dream

Three scenarios can explain not dreaming (or not remembering dreams): first, doing high-intensity physical labor that leaves you exhausted; second, having a simplified, go-with-the-flow mindset that’s content with the status quo; and third, leading a well-organized life. The best candidate for a lifelong friend is the third. They not only manage their own life well but also help friends solve problems. The first is simply overtired and not a useful gauge. The second tends to avoid conflict and is content with light, casual chats over tea.

3. Someone who treats friends like family in dreams

This type often has a strong sense of brotherhood or sisterhood; if you share their loyalty, they’ll stand by you for life. That said, this usually applies more to same-sex friendships. With the opposite sex, their friendships may lean more transactional than truly intimate.

4. Someone who can fly in dreams

Setting aside people whose work involves flying, this type makes a lifelong friend not because they’re exceptional, but because they have a light touch. They won’t cause you harm, and they’re great company for beating boredom, traveling, partying, or blowing off steam.

5. Someone who is always joyful in dreams

They’re cheerful and open-hearted. Spending time with them is enjoyable and something to look forward to. Emotions are contagious, and their happiness spreads—helping you let go of worries and lighten your load.