Finding the Right People: Key to Success in Friendship, Business, and Leadership!

The concept of physiognomy, also known as the art of observing people, might not be widely recognized by many. In essence, this art involves evaluating a person's character and moral attributes through their speech and behavior. This is somewhat different from traditional physiognomy, which is more about predicting a person's fortune or misfortune based on physical features like facial traits, palmistry, and bone structure. The focus of observing people lies in assessing their character and moral integrity.

Jiangnan Yilin didn't set out to master the art of observing people; rather, he naturally developed this skill from his environment as a child, learning to read people's expressions and emotions. A typical experience was during his elementary school years, when televisions weren't common. He often watched TV at friends' homes and had to be mindful of the hosts’ unspoken signals, such as when they were tired or annoyed, as they wouldn’t express it directly. This keen sense for subtle cues could be considered a natural gift.

During his university years, Jiangnan Yilin explored various books on similar subjects, covering both contemporary and ancient works, including Zeng Guofan's "Ice Mirror."

In recent years, Jiangnan Yilin has developed his own system for observing people by blending traditional physiognomy with modern theoretical approaches. By spending as little as half an hour with someone—whether playing cards, having a chat, or visiting their space—he can usually gauge that individual’s character, preferences, and moral compass.

He often enjoys people-watching on the streets, analyzing faces, expressions, and walking styles. The same interest applies to television, particularly documentary programs like "Legal Online," where he finds observing real people especially fascinating. By analyzing criminals, he seeks to validate his observations that a malicious person often looks malicious, while a virtuous person exudes virtue. These subtle observations, often overlooked by others, captivate Jiangnan Yilin and yield a wealth of insights.

Friends and online contacts frequently send him photographs, and he often discerns a person’s general character just from a photo. While each picture differs, certain elements remain constant; for instance, a person's eyes reveal truths that are hard to disguise.

Jiangnan Yilin emphasizes that he is not attempting to mystify or boast; rather, he wishes to convey an essential truth: there is learning to be found everywhere! True wisdom often comes from life experiences, surpassing what is typically static knowledge in books.

1. The Six Relatives Method of Observing People

Jiangnan Yilin introduces a frequently used, early-developed method of observation known as the "Six Relatives Method."

In Bazi fortune-telling, the six relatives include father, mother, siblings, spouse, and children. By watching how someone interacts with these relatives and others like friends, you can evaluate their character based on whether their words and actions align. However, this method has its limitations—such as a local thug or an untrustworthy minister might still be a devoted son or kind father. Additionally, someone praised as a great colleague might be a tyrant at home.

Jiangnan Yilin himself struggled with this method. Eventually, while studying Western narrative theory, he gained insights from character development in classic literature, which he then applied to his observations of people. This approach is useful whether you're reading novels, watching TV, socializing, or creating characters in writing. Jiangnan Yilin shares this insight to inspire others; any similarities are purely coincidental. He believes it’s uncommon for people to apply this narrative theory to the art of observing people, as he hasn't seen it discussed in this way in contemporary dialogue.

2. The Three-Dimensional Method of Observing People

Let's simplify this by calling it the "Three-Dimensional Method of Observing People." What are the three dimensions? They refer to three levels.

The first dimension: the social level. Observe how this person engages with superiors, colleagues, partners, or competitors. Notice their speech and behavior, and whether they are consistent.

The second dimension: the family level, corresponding to the Six Relatives Method. Consider how they treat their parents, siblings, spouse, children, and friends, ensuring that their words and actions align.

The third dimension: the personal level, which involves observing what a person enjoys and does in solitude. People often reveal their true selves without pretense when alone, though there are exceptions for those who disguise themselves even in private diaries.

These points are merely an overview or three guiding principles. Due to space limitations, further details cannot be elaborated on. An important aspect of people-watching is to remain objective and not be swayed by appearances or personal emotions.

Many of us feel capable of summarizing a friend's character in a sentence or two, yet when it comes to those we are closest to, like parents or spouses, clarity can elude us, and summarization becomes difficult. This might be due to knowing them too well, with myriad details obstructing clear perception.

If you’re a writer, depicting a character from these three angles will likely yield a more rounded, three-dimensional portrayal. The same logic applies to watching TV or movies; use these three dimensions as a framework for evaluating a character. In shows, we might even hear the protagonist's inner thoughts. Real life presents more challenges in understanding someone's personal level, but people often reveal this through their behavior or by visiting their personal spaces like dorms or bedrooms, where authenticity is uncovered.

Naturally, mastering the art of observing people, akin to learning physiognomy or Bazi fortune-telling, demands a certain talent linked to the learner’s nature. Many elements are nuanced and can't be easily put into words. Some have an instinctive talent for observation, while others, even after years with someone, can't accurately define their character, possibly due to a lack of observational skills or summarization abilities.

Everyone might try Jiangnan Yilin's methods in friendships, romantic relationships, or professional settings—it’s crucial to choose the right people!

Additionally, Jiangnan Yilin hopes this brief article will spotlight minor details that often go unnoticed but reveal significant insights. In business or political environments, the art of people-watching becomes especially valuable.