Quiz: Are You an Extremely Insecure Person?

There's a forty-year-old woman living in Beijing, one of the rare 1% native residents, who exudes a touch of excessive arrogance. Occasionally, she posts on social media, “Oh no, is my house going to be demolished again?” Her posts include pictures of the market’s pothole-filled streets, paired with a gloomy expression. Yet, it's easy to assume that if such a demolition were to occur, it would likely create wealthy individuals, not leave people destitute.

“Demolition? This is Beijing we’re talking about! Is it really necessary to flaunt it?” a friend complains. We all know this is merely blatant bragging intended to impress the women in her social circle.

A friend shared with me, “The receptionist at our company, after her ex-husband cheated on her, got divorced, and then remarried just two months later. Now, she seems obsessed with clinging to the final moments of her youth each day.”

I really don’t understand why some women treat social media as a platform for boasting. Life is like a store window at midnight, with only a small area brightly lit, while thick darkness looms behind, unable to be illuminated or dispersed. They desperately maintain that little beam of light because it’s all they have.

I used to be skeptical of the saying, “The more someone brags about something, the more they lack it inside,” but now I am convinced. I once felt disdain for women who love to show off, but now I understand them a little more. They may seem cold and aloof, with millions in wealth, looking down from a different dimension. In reality, if you were to embrace such a woman, she might dissolve into tears, as the place where she should feel secure is riddled with gaps, hiding long-held, unspoken secrets.

I came across a saying online that struck a chord with me: “The root of repeatedly flaunting trivial things is the same; it arises from lacking anything substantial to hold the attention of those around you.”

A person who constantly likes to show off does so because she lacks internal security. Only by boasting does she feel valued through others’ attention. The confidence gained from bragging is as fragile as an inflated balloon that bursts with a single prick. The more insecure and lacking in confidence she feels, the more she has to put on a facade.

Only you truly know how you're doing in life. The state you reflect, when shared in moderation, can earn the blessings and approval of those around you. However, excessive self-praise, especially if it's sarcastic, will eventually lead to resentment. It’s the lack of confidence and a sense of insecurity that drives people to numb themselves this way, convincing themselves they are doing better than others, while fearing others will see their vulnerable side.

Test yourself: Do you lack a sense of security?

Before going out, do you check multiple times to ensure you have your wallet, phone, and keys? Is your sense of security directly tied to your phone’s battery life, where every 1% decrease in battery causes a 10-point drop in your sense of security?

• Afraid of loneliness, even when surrounded by people, you can inexplicably feel alone.
• Afraid of the dark or having nightmares; you must close the bedroom door at night, prefer to sleep on your side, and have a habit of hugging a stuffed toy to sleep.
• You like to follow others around, preferring to involve family, friends, or partners in everything you do.
• When eating or riding in a vehicle, you always choose a window seat and prefer to sit in the same spot.
• You prefer to buy clothes with pockets; otherwise, you don’t know where to put your hands, which makes you feel awkward.
• You love cute, fluffy animals, and when you're feeling down, these adorable creatures can heal you.
• Even when you're deeply sad inside, you pretend to be nonchalant while speaking or smiling, not wanting to burden others.
• During conversations, you feel most secure when the other person replies instantly.
• Generally, you won’t take the initiative to get close to others, but if a friend shows kindness to you, you can't help but want to open your heart to them.
• You both long for love and fear it, often feeling that the person you like doesn’t like you as much.

If you relate to 3-4 of the statements above, then you are someone with a deep lack of inner security.